Bruno Derlin and Mike from Freedom’s Design, asked me to write a blog on our site. My first instinct was to flatten the top of their skulls with that wooden mallet that they give you to ring the bell at the county fair.
Fuck you. Fuck your “blog”.
Who invented the word blog? Fuck him. I’ll fist fuck him in his mother’s cunt. Then I saw the photo on the site. The one above or left or right or wherever the fuck they deem it to be “most impactful and design friendly” for the 12 people that might actually wind up here, in life. Anyway, the photo is garbage. It’s some surrealistic New York bullshit, transposed with some other shit but then, inexplicably, there’s a girl holding a volleyball in a bikini. Therein lies the genius of Mike Freedom.
That girl! Holy Shit. Can I do a blog about her?
So sexy that it’s hard to look at. I brought the photo up on my phone, zoomed into the vaginal region of the gal and now I’m smashing my phone into the tip of my cock.
I laid my cock out on someone’s garbage can and I’m slamming that girl’s photo into it. Vehemently.
I would spend an hour just whispering into her vagina. I would create an apparatus that suspends me in midair, backwards, with my head tilted in an ungodly angle so that my face is never more than 1/16 of an inch away from her labia and then I would whisper to it. I would recite horrible poetry and short children’s songs lovingly into her vaginal canal. I would read the ingredients and cooking instructions of very long recipes in a lustful wispy tone, directly onto her pulsating clitoris. Whoever has been blessed enough to be making love to this young lady isn’t doing it right. I will kill him. With glee. But I will do it in a way that’s both compassionate yet assertive enough to excite and intrigue her. She will submit to me, slowly tracing the sides of her bikini with her finger tips, her pussy becoming so uncontrollably wet that it starts to drip down her inner thighs as she watches the life leave her boyfriend’s body, knowing that in only a few more precious seconds, I will be inside her. Our bodies wreathing in pleasure as we both succumb to the forces of nature that brought us together, knowing that, for us, life has taken on a newer, deeper meaning than it has for any other humans that have ever existed. She, staring deeply into the wonderment of my eyes, thinking, knowing that God has delivered me to be the bearer of her offspring and…me, wondering, befuddled and bewildered by the awesomeness of this woman, who has captivated my existence and wrenched the dullness of everyday life out of my soul and filled it with love. Her. Until this moment I have only ever known her as “that girl”. “That girl” from the DigiBro….that girl. And so I asked Bruno and Mike if it was okay if I did a blog about her. That Girl… let’s see what they say.