Dear Mike Ricca, (and TJ Stone CC’d here)
Please stop trying to be “ON” all the time… At this juncture, we are trying to write and create what is destined to become one of the greatest films of all time and therefore we need to have a “clear” and “clean” brainstorming environment, so I would really appreciate a little more humility, less “Hollywood” snarkasm, and more of your brilliance, untainted by your pseudo-condescending need to try and outwit your partners. You are at your best when you are at your most human. Don’t try to be like TJ Stone; that’s his job. And me… well, I’m in Jersey, so… I know you’re not a sociopath but that you appreciate me asking if you are. Please make an effort to be more like TJ S’Tone, who is a gentler, kinder, version of TJ Stone, the guy you so wrongfully try to depict as this depraved, unhinged, accomplice to something dark and sinister… those days are over, even if that book did get published. The TJ we now know and love is more like the Mike Ricca that I know and love. It’s no accident that the Universe continues to push us back together. It’s because we are destined to do something great… and now, we have clear evidence that, just like in the film 2010 (the year we make contact), “Something’s going to happen.”… and the follow-up to that line: “Something wonderful.” (and please imagine that second line delivered with a little bit of phasing and digital flanging).
Like Glenn Close’s character in FATAL ATTRACTION, “I’m not going to be ignored.” And just for a better effect, I do wish your name was Dan, but Mike will do for now. As for TJ, I understand that we have a mutual respect and admiration (which I also have with Ricca — I mean, why else would he ask me to baptize #4? It can’t be only for the sake of getting some priceless footage while the priest asks if we both reject Satan and all his doings, while we cut to TJ slapping Chip around in the studio). I know of this mutual respect and admiration between myself and TJ because I had him at: “No one directs The Other Guy; The Other Guy directs you!” Now that we are finally putting our heads together, even if not in the same room, I’d like to ask you both to put your egos in check and relinquish all your trust to the Overlord. Have I ever steered you wrong? That’s right… Now, what I want… What’s most important to me, is a guarantee. Like Pacino says in CARLITO’S WAY: “Don’t waste my motherfuckin’ time!” I am putting all my faith in your genius… Yes, the two of you. I am, and I know this down to the very core of my existence, the only person on the planet, who can direct the two of you to superstardom, so as Giorgio would say: “Don’t be fuckin’ around… we must all be on same page, for this product-shun to be well on theeee way!”
This is the time we set aside our differences. Forget all we know or think we know. Begin a new chapter. One where our back stories are just that: back stories. We are looking at the future and the future is now (if things don’t go well I can always aspire to write for a politician). We are going to embark on this new adventure, both beautiful and strange, and every thought, notion, idea, sentiment, feeling, etc., is henceforth, as the other Bruno would say, going to be considered “intellectual property.” No one can quit from this point on. As Tom Hanks boldly says in A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN, “There’s no crying in baseball.” So, listen up and hear me: Genius is as genius does, but like that fucking tree in the forest, no one’s gonna know if it’s making noise when falling if no one’s there to listen”… Wait, what?
Well, you know what I mean… Now, having said all this, let’s go in there and tackle this thing, ’cause y’all put it down… an’ shit!